Berger’s Burg: College expenses? Don’t worry, no problem

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For many high school seniors, the time for filling out college applications is over.

The biggest obstacle they had faced was choosing the right college where they will spend the next four years calling home for more money. Every room of their homes is still crammed with a multitude of catalogues, glossy brochures, and promotional videos from the parents' favorite 100 colleges.

"Look at the high rating this school received in the college guidebook," the mother said. "But their ratio of girl to boy students is not balanced enough for a good social life," moaned the student.

"Wow! Professor I.Q. Brainchild is teaching Applied Midnight Oil at this college," chipped in the father. "No, the school has a weak football team," lamented the student. "How about this small college? Needle Point, Arizona!"

"Too hot!" "Igloo, Minnesota?" "Too cold!."

It appears that their parents spent more time helping to pick a college than preparing for the day when they will be required to pay the huge ransom money they call tuition.

This happened to us. So, parents of young Einsteins everywhere, take notes. Or you may suffer the same fate as we did when our kids were ready for college.

"Sweetheart, don't worry, no problem," I said to Gloria as we gazed upon our two infant sons, born a year apart. I was answering her question, "When do we start putting money away for their college education?"

"Sweetie, college is a long way off," I said, "and besides, maternity leave is not forever. You will be returning to work long before they go to college."

"Darling, don't worry, no problem. By the way, Hon, do you think the boys will enjoy going to Europe this year?"

"Dear, our sons are now six and seven years old and I've returned to work," Gloria said. "Isn't it time that we thought about putting something away now?" "Honey Bun, don't worry, no problem," I responded. "We both will receive several pay raises in the future. That will take care of our college expenses. By the way, Beloved One, did you pack my purple bathing suit for our trip to Aruba?"

"Dear, I was talking to some of the teachers at school today and they say that college expenses are accelerating at a rapid rate. The boys are now 15 and 14, and this may be our last opportunity to start a college fund for them," said Gloria. "Love Boat, don't worry, no problem," I again reassured her. "Didn't your principal, Mr. Colangelo, tell us that both boys were very bright? They will certainly be awarded full scholarships to the college of their choice. Sugar, you forgot to ask the boys if they would like to go to California this year."

"Dear, look what came in the mail today," Gloria said, "an acceptance letter from Albany State, Jon's first choice, but look at how high the tuition is." "Hmmm," I mumbled, as I noticed a small amount in scholarship money. They should pay Jon for going there. No problem, we will take out a loan.

"Dear, Vance was accepted by Cornell," Gloria mentioned. I looked at the staggering tuition for this Ivy school -

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