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IT’S ONLY MY OPINION - Edward I. Koch: Still doin’ great

I love Ed Koch. Some argue and say that he wasn’t the all time best mayor of New York. Maybe he wasn’t but he certainly was the most entertaining. Many years ago we sat next to each other on the dais during the annual Canarsie Volunteer Ambulance Corps fundraising breakfast. I was the Master of Ceremonies and he was the guest speaker. I welcomed him with the greeting question most New Yorkers ask, “How ya’ dooin’?” He responded with the trademark for which he is best known, “How am I doing?” “Hey Mr. Mayor. I asked you first.” We laughed and chatted a bit. I remember when the Giants won the Super Bowl and Big Apple football fans wanted the city to give them a parade. With the move from Queens to the meadowlands in New Jersey still bugging him he shouted, “No way. If they want a parade let them march in front of the oil tanks in Moonachie, New Jersey.” Mayor Koch presided over one of the most corrupt eras of New York politics. Every time he was informed of another political figure caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he responded with the same two word question, “Him tooooo?” I hope Mayor Koch lives to the ripe old biblical age of one hundred and twenty but when he does leave us, the perfect inscription for his gravestone would be the same two-word question. Here lies Edward Irving Koch – Him Toooo? The man is out of politics, he continues to influence some of us, and is as entertaining as ever. In last week’s column he wrote “Waterboarding is torture …. Torture should never be authorized by law…..(Note the word ‘never’}……America’s laws should never allow torture to be used.”(Again the word ‘never’) In the very same piece our beloved Ed Koch went on to say “I believe that in the case of a ticking bomb, an American agent using torture to elicit information that in fact saves thousands of people from death and injury should be pardoned.” Oh. So it NEVER should be used but if it is used and saves lives then it’s OK. Then he went on to say “But if the agent’s brutal and otherwise unconscionable acts did not succeed in that goal, he should be prosecuted criminally.” Really! What agent in his right mind wants to take a chance and gamble on success knowing full well that failure will be met with criminal prosecution and possible imprisonment? Hey, Ed. You’re still great. Did you every give any thought to writing comedy for Jackie Mason? ******** I’ve made some enemies writing this column. There are some of you who disagree with my beliefs and love to jump into the gutter and cuss me out. I’ve also made some friends. There are many of you who have disagreed or misunderstood my thoughts and let me know, but in a very nice, respectful, courteous way. I frequently telephone some of the latter to discuss our differences and often feel that I’ve made a good buddy by doing so. If you’re in the area and want to meet a perfect gentleman, pop into the Little Things Toy Store at 145 Seventh Avenue, Brooklyn, and say Hi to Allan Brafman. One long telephone conversation and we are now good friends, even if we don’t always agree. ******** We were invited to a brunch this morning and I found myself being surrounded by the left. You could count the conservatives in that room on one hand. Taking my roommate’s suggestion I deicide to stay out of any political discussion. Yeah! Me! Keeping my mouth shut. I took her advice and stayed out of the conversation until someone asked “Hey, Stan. You’re a maven. What’s your thinking on this?” Actually I had no real thinking on the subject. I had only one question and then sat back to watch and listen. I asked – “Has Obama been successful because he really is that great or is it because there are so many people that dislike Hillary?” I caused such trouble. The shouting. The screaming. A fight almost broke out. I used the word “dislike”. I quickly learned that half of the thirty or so that were in attendance HATE her. I’ll never be invited back there again but my question was answered. ******** The University of Utah is very big on doing studies that involve DWT – Driving While Talking – on a cell phone, that is. Every year or two we hear about the dangerous conclusions resulting from the yakkers. On the very first business day of this New Year America learned the results of Utah’s most current research. When questioned about those who talk on a cell phone while behind the wheel, David Strayer, the professor in charge of this very recent study said, “The distracted driver tends to drive slower and have delayed reactions.” Duhhh! I wonder how much time and money was spent doing this investigation. Every driver NOT on a phone has been saying this for years. We could also tell you about the Full Stop signs they speed through and the accidents they cause. I could personally tell you about the idiot who was so engrossed in her conversation that she neglected to stop at the booth and toss the toll into the basket. I wonder how many times a day that happens. We don’t need more studies. We need laws with stiffer penalties and enforcement of those laws. When was the last time you heard of anyone getting a ticket for talking on a phone? And please – don’t write and tell me that sipping my Diet Coke through a straw is just as dangerous. It’s not. ******** I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net wondering, if Hillary is elected to the White House will she bring back the dishes? ******** Your letters and Emails are the property of this newspaper and may be published. For verification purposes all correspondence must contain your real name, address and telephone number.

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