Looking for the sons I gave up

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I would like to speak about the adoption issue.

There are many children who have been adopted and as adults are looking for their biological parents.

And some parents are looking for their biological children because, for one reason or another, they were forced to place their children up for adoption.

I, myself, am one of the latter. I’m 68 years old and have been longing to make peace with my two sons, Tommy and Bobby, who were adopted in the ‘70s while I served in the U.S. Navy.

My wife had left us and I could not financially take care of our boys and had to place them in foster care. They were later adopted because I had no plan to properly provide for them and my ex-wife could not provide for them either.

I believe any adopted child, once he or she reaches their 21st birthday, has the right to know who their biological parents were and the reasons they were forced to give them up. In the end, we all need to know our past and try to make peace with our children before we leave this world.

I would love to have the opportunity to tell my children that I am sorry and tell them about their biological family. Christmas is coming and of all things I would wish for, a reunion with my sons would be the greatest gift I could have because above all, I could tell them that I love them.

Frederick R. Bedell Jr.

Glen Oaks Village

Updated 12:32 am, July 10, 2018
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Reader feedback

Man from Queens says:
Real men don't give up kids, they find ways to raise them. Man up Fred. I am glad your sons will never reach out to you. No wonder you are always sad and pathetic.
Dec. 9, 2017, 12:48 pm
Heh from Glen Oaks says:
His wife left him cause Fred is a loser
Dec. 9, 2017, 1:47 pm
Harry from Glen Oaks says:
Fred lives in Glen Oaks Village, a low income and other disadvantaged families housing complex.
Dec. 9, 2017, 4:28 pm
Helton from Flushing says:

I hope that you find what you're looking for.
Dec. 10, 2017, 12:06 pm
Cordelia from Bayside says:
From the people who cast for TLC's Long Lost Family:

If you are desperate to trace a lost family member and have been searching with no success, the Long Lost Family team would like to hear from you.
The series will follow the stories of people who have experienced long-term separation from members of their family and are seeking to be reunited with them.
We are looking for a variety of families to help reconnect: parents hoping to reunite with children they were unable to raise - perhaps placed for adoption or separated by custody disputes or family rifts, adult children looking for their birth parents, or siblings searching for each other after decades apart.
To apply, please send your completed application to the Casting team at or FAX to 323-417-5141. Unfortunately, we can not accept electronic signatures at this time.
Dec. 12, 2017, 2:14 pm
Virginia from Former Bayside says:
To the nasty readers above... you should be ashamed of yourselves. Things happen in people's lives that are sometimes out of their control and are forced to make hard decisions. I'd love to open your closets and put YOUR past out there. To Mr. Bedell. I hope you find your sons and make peace with them. And, thank you for your service to our country!!
Dec. 12, 2017, 4:24 pm

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